What can I say?

I know I know, it’s been a while… This is so very typical of me. I seem to get very obsessed with something (like a new blog) and then, true to form, I move on quickly and forget all about it.

I’m going to try to change that.

And yet, here I am opening up this post which is a draft from over a month ago. I think I’ve come to the realisation that everything is subject to change at a moments notice. I thought I’d reached a balance, an equilibrium of sorts. Boy, was I wrong.

My life resembles… something. Something crazy in which the only balance that seems to exist is the one between a complete mental breakdown and… well.. a complete mental breakdown.

Lots of people say that school was the best years of their life and whilst I will never think that myself, I sort of see what they mean.

School was shite. There, I said it. Sorry kids, it’s the truth; my truth. These adult years? They’re no walk in the park either.

I wouldn’t change anything because when I think logically, I love my life. I have a wife who I adore and who adores me, my beautiful boys and my cheeky girls, but sometimes, actually, a lot of the times, I wish it was easier.

Even through all the good, sometimes it feels like something is missing. Sometimes it’s like a part of me was taken, mistreated and hidden. I wish I knew what had happened or where it was so I could reclaim my whole self.

Until then, I’m trying to be every part me as possible.