Do you ever wonder if it could be different?

That saying comes to mind. You know the one? The grass is always greener on the other side. I often find myself pondering about how my life would be if I fell into the ‘neurotypical’. Sometimes wishing more than anything that my brain worked in a ‘normal’ or ‘typical’ way. I’m always wondering about how the way I think could be different.

I think, if I really had the choice, I wouldn’t change it, not really, because my brain is really what makes me.. me.

Something about my brain is that there is no ‘middle ground’ no ‘grey area’.

This is something that I find so, so frustrating. I very much fall into the ‘all or nothing’ category of people.

Don’t get me wrong, this is something that drives me, keeps me motivated, moving forward and not stagnant, but it also is something that I think hinders my ability to ‘just exist’ and to get through the bad times.

I have this mentality in every single aspect of my life. Relationships, my career, my hobbies. The struggle I am finding at the moment is that I need to be able to, sometimes, chill out!

To not get so hung up on details, to roll with the punches. I feel like there are occasions in life where the best solution would be to turn down my 110% mentality to something around the… 90%? I feel like having the ability to do that would allow me to get through the troughs without being so negatively affected and wanting to hit the off switch.

So, putting this out there to anyone who resinates… any top tips for just turning my commitment/passion/drive (whatever you want to call it) down a little? To find a way to keep going in a more healthy, dynamic way.

I await any thoughts.. it would be exceptionally helpful!