TW: death of a pet
If you know me ‘IRL’, something that you will know if that I am a complete animal lover and have so many pets I could probably open a petting zoo. I wouldn’t subject my babies to that, of course, but it does give you a little bit of an idea as to my life.
A few weeks ago, I made the decision to upgrade my outdoor bunnies set up, from a hutch with a run attached, to a much larger walk in enclosure. The reasons being that I wanted them to have more open space as opposed to being in smaller, lower areas.
Well, it arrived last week and trust me when I say I ummed and ahhed over which one to get for many, many, many hours (honestly, so much time spent looking between these two different brands and styles!). It arrived in 6 or 7 cardboard boxes and the delivery guys were obliging when my partner asked if they could pop it into the back garden to save it taking up valuable dog playing space in the front room (as above; lots of pets).
I say obliging because actually, they weren’t very happy at the prospect of using the gate at the side as opposed to the front door… But they did it, so it was all good I guess?!
Anyway, these bloody boxes have been sat in my garden ever since (still taking up dog play space although not human living space so I guess it was still a win somehow?).
I planned every day to make it; I watched the YouTube video, I was all prepped and ready, and then the weather turned.
Now, if you live in the UK, and anywhere near me (Wolverhampton) then you will know that a week or so ago we were so dry from no rain that the grass was dying and the trees were looked parched.
This week though, the rain has pretty much not stopped. At all. Great, you might think… and yeah, the grass is greener and the trees are happier, but my boxes were not, they were a soggy mess. My rabbits were not, they could see their new abode and they wanted in. The dogs were annoyed because of aforementioned lack of playing space, partner was frustrated because it all looked a mess (and this is typical of me to not get around to doing something for AGES).
I was even more pissed off because all I wanted to do was build the damn thing!
The weather. I’m say I’m surprised, but I’ll be honest, I’m not. I’m typically British and I will always be moaning about the weather.
Too hot, too cold, too windy, too bright, too dry and, you guessed it, too wet.
Frustratingly too, I have woken every morning with blue skies, and yet by the time I have come home from walking the dogs or sorting the horse out, it is pouring. Couldn’t write it! Although, here I am, writing it… Oh the irony.
Anyway, I have genuinely been looking forward to building this thing, I love a bit of DIY and this was going to be a great little project and accomplishment.
I had both my girls booked in at the vets for their jabs today and just a general health check up, along with an employment coaching session (which I am hopefully going to blog about soon) before that, and I decided that whatever the weather, when I got home I was building the run.
Unfortunately, the best made plans.
My beautiful little bunny Quiz has had ongoing issues with her eye for years. I think generally the consensus at the vets was that she punctured it at some time in her younger years and it never healed. I always expected her to loose her sight in it.
I’m not going to go into details here, but the short version is that her eye had progressed much faster and more severe than expected and as such I didn’t really a choice to make. It was for her best interests that she went to sleep.
This was not a decision made lightly, but one with my head rather than my heart. Without a doubt the worst part of pet ownership. When I lose one, it makes me question every getting anymore.
But, I tell myself what I tell everyone else when this happens; it only hurts so much because of all the love and happiness we get to share with them. It’s not ‘worth it’ but.. to know that joy with them.. well, it kinda is.
Better a life with love lost than to never experience love. Is that the right saying? I often get them the wrong way around or maybe I’ve made it up? I’ll try to remember to google it to check but let’s face it, I’ll probably (definitely) forget.
Leaving the vets one bunny down was not the plan this morning. It was just miserable and crap.
Luckily my partner came to the vets too and was there with us at the end so she drove us home and I think I cried almost the whole way. Crying because life isn’t fair and crying because my lovely girl Domino is now without her sister and her best friend.
My heart hurts for her.
I decided then, that I’m going to build the new enclosure.
A way I process things is almost by not processing. I’m sure that makes sense to people that do the same, and I honestly think most people do this. I needed to keep busy.
It poured down with rain. Twice. There was thunder and probably lightening if I had looked up.
I’ve pulled my back somehow; probably standing on tip toes to get the roof on, and my hands are trashed from the metal mesh and plastic attachments.
But
I did it.
I built it.
It took about 7 hours, but it is done!
So this evening, I’ve put Domino into her new home, given her extra love and cuddles and will go down and check her before I head off and go to sleep. I pray that she will be OK and then tomorrow I start thinking about bonding her with another bunny because she needs a best friend.
That though, is a stress for the morning and not for now. For now, I am absolutely shattered, sad and deflated.
All this waffle and really I could have said something like; one rabbit gone, new run built, other rabbit moved into new home. But alas, I needed to write and get this all out.
I’m liking this blog for that purpose. Just communicating with myself and getting these thoughts and feelings out. If anyone reads them, that is a bonus I guess.. Although this one is very cheery.
So tomorrow is rabbit bonding research. Also tip trip day to get rid of all that soggy cardboard. Fingers crossed I find the motivation to do it and they don’t sit in the patio, taking up that valuable dog playing space and making my partner frustrated! Now, wouldn’t that be typical of me.
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